7 “Tips” I Can’t Stand Any More

Note: This post is utterly devoid of value. It’s a venting rant. You have been warned.
Here are seven tips that, if I hear them any more, may force me to stab myself in the face:

1. ‘Write what your readers want’. Really. Never would’ve thoughta that.
2. ‘Brand generates customer loyalty’. True since 0 BC, when my ancestors ignored a guy with much better branding. We’ve paid for it ever since. Why do folks say that and then puff up like they just revolutionized advertising?
3. ‘Write copy that attracts links’. Nah. I’m going to specifically write copy that repels links. I tell all my clients to do that.
4. ‘Write great content’. Wow. I didn’t get this the first 1,202,123 times someone wrote it, but now I do! I’ll stop writing boring B.S. now. Thanks!!!
5. ‘Companies should talk to customers’. When I see how some companies talk to their customers I question this. But it really makes me twitch when a blogger says this one day and then says companies “can’t converse” the next.
6. ‘Persuade key influencers’. I won’t even dignify that one with an answer.
7. ‘Cultivate emotional involvement in your brand’. Walk up to me and say that in person. I dare you.

If you find yourself writing these tips in a blog post, try not writing anything instead. Everyone with a smidgen of intelligence already knows them.
There are closer to 7,000 stupid, overused, useless tips flying around in the marketing world. If you have a few, feel free to post ‘em in comments.