U-Haul: Fire Your Lawyer (and Your Marketer)

Sarah over at SEOMOZ outlined U-Haul’s ridiculous case against someone who outranks them.
I won’t re-evaluate the case. Sarah undoubtedly got higher grades than I did in Intellectual Property, which was one of the law courses that made me become a marketer.
Instead, I’ll say this:
U-Haul, fire your lawyer.
Only a total moron or someone with severe oxygen narcosis would think, first of all, that you could defend a trademark on ‘moving help’ and ‘moving helper’.
And only a member of the Headless Hunt would think companies can’t use trademarked terms of other companies in competitive marketing. Otherwise, ‘Ford’ could never say “We are better than Chevy”.

Unless, of course, you’re doing this to just wear down a smaller competitor. Which would be unethical. And you’d never do that. Would you?

Then fire your marketer.
Only a total, unqualified hack of a marketer would let something like this happen:

…while you spend $500/hour on corporate attorneys should be fired at least, or drawn and quartered at most.
If you want to be top ranked for a phrase like ‘moving helper’, try having that phrase in your title tag (see the next paragraph) and not redirecting to a different page.
And get rid of the ® in the title tag. That’s affecting your relevance, I’ll bet.

If you don’t know what that means, well, hire someone who does. It’s early, I was up at 3 AM because of 3 raccoons playing in a puddle under my window (seriously) and I’m not in the mood. Geez. I sound like Michael Martinez (kidding Michael).

Consider using marketing, instead of lawyers, to win your marketing battles.
Oh, and one last thing: Hireahelper, here’s a nice keyword-rich link to your site – moving help by hire a helper. Suck on that, U-Haul.